But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
