i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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