It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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