Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize