Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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