even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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