Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
