We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm drive I can fine osifer
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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