yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize