you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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