He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize