is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
