If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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