Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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