Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
