Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He better not be in your backpack
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
