you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
