i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
