My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize