You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Randomize
