did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i out mim tonsoeep
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