in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
