sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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