I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
