do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
