i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
