She is in my trunk
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
