Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
