quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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