He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
