Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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