Your dad touched me again.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize