I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
