P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think I just shit out all my problems.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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