I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
