beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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