Christians are straight up FREAKS
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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