i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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