You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I can't turn off my feet"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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