Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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