The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
