He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
