I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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