:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
