All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
