Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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