Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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