I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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