I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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