it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize