I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just wanna soil my oats bro
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
