The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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