How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
