Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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