Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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