But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
