Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
