i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize