OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just gargled with NyQuil
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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