Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
