Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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