Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
