I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
