You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize