The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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