I think I died a long time ago.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Found the puke drawer
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
