Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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