I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
